The whys and hows

One day as i was just smoking outside of CWP a gerl approach me and ask me a question...
She ask me why am i smoking being young and all...
There was a sudden pause...
I thought about it for a moment but i could not find an answer...
I told her i dont know den she sat right beside me...
She kept on asking about my life although i dont know her...
Wen she had stop asking i asked her about herself...
There was a sudden pause too...
Den my manager went out and called out my name...
I turn but the gerl was nowhere to be seen...
I light up another stick but this time i was with my manager...
I ask him if he had seen any gerl beside me but he said he saw no one...
After finishing the ciggarette i went back to work...
I could not concentrate on work since then on...
Who the hell was i talking to???
Why is she so curious abt my life???
I didnt even get to know her name...
I went back early frm work that day and asked myself the same question she asked me
Why the hell am i smoking???
Why the hell am i wasting my life doing things that has no meaning i life?
I still could not answer that question...
I thought about it for the next few days...
Yet i could not find the answer
Den one day i went to school and saw her
Well it looked almost like her
it was this gerl frm 3/7
She seemed pretty,but frm the outside i could see someone in need of help...
Can someone please tell me wat all this means???
But how could i change someone if i dont change myself??
Frm that day onwards i tried to get close to her
But it seemed impossible to get to know her...
How i wish i would be less shy towards gerls...
How i wish i was a totalli different person...