Reflection

Today was the 1st time i stared at myself in the mirror for 10 mins. I realised i've change soo much. I think i dont even know my self anymore. Where's that nerdy boy who usually goes to the library to study, research and hang out. The day everything change was on 4 Dec 2006. The day i started working. I smoked more than usual... I get agitated easily more than usual... Studying was like nothing anymore... I dont have time to chat with my parents... I always go home around 1++ I hate going home... Dats the day i started hating everything in this world that i used to enjoy...
Wats gonna become of me??? Ive turn myself into the thing i hated the most... I became like... my Brother... Always looking for fights... Lazy to go school... Lazy to take test... Sleep in class... likes to stay away from home...

I think its time to change

im gonna start on the same date it happen
04 Dec 2007
A whole new behavior
A whole new me
More time management
More money management
Smoking... Thats a disease i cant cure
And u... ESTHER YOU!!!
I think of u and cried..
I want you to be the one beside me
guiding me
leading me to the path that i once walk
that i once enjoyed being on
But thats not gonna happen is it
thats not gonna happen unless i do something
I hope Matt Shadows can help me again
but it will take months for him to reply my msg
well he is a busy person
But im gonna wait for u
im goin to wait until i see u being realli happy with another person
someone who wouldnt hurt u
someone who cared about u more than i do
thats wen i'll stop
i'll stop waiting for u
and said to myself..
My job here is done....